Hey Girl, hey!

It’s me, Jena Cash, owner and founder of SOCO Lashes/ Hi. Hello! All of the things…

There are so many people struggling right now, and I know what it’s like to struggle. I know what it’s like to be caged in, not by an actual prison, but by our own life, our own feelings, and our own experiences. I know what it’s like to feel stuck. I know what it’s like to know I’m not liked and not wanted. To be so stuck in my own head that it consumes every minute of every day. I know what it’s like to have $3 in my bank account, and I know what it’s like to have -$300. I also know what it feels like to feel alone and so consumed with problems, when everyone else seems to be staying afloat. This new email series is my effort to remind you that you’re not alone, and to remind you that when we use our voice it can help someone see another day.

So, this is what that is. A series of emails that doesn’t have to be for forever, but it can be if you’d like. A way to allow you to creep inside my mind’s eye and peer a little bit into my private life, because I seldom open that door to you all. I want to seem put together so that you can depend on me for your lash products, but it’s so unrelatable that it’s making me feel disconnected from my business, but more importantly… you. My hopes are that you and I actually have a lot in common, and you see that we both share the same struggles. Our book titles may look a little different, but the chapters are probably a lot more mirrored than we think.

Something that I share with a lot of you is that struggle with is friendship. I’ve never really been a great friend, because I am bad at vulnerability. This is something that I have recognized for a long time, but more recently, it’s something that I would like to change about myself. As entrepreneurs, we tend to put our business above all, because if we put our business first, we’re actually putting our family first… so we can pay the bills and provide a certain lifestyle. But are we, though? Yes and no, but mostly… sad. I know grammatically speaking that sentence doesn’t make sense, but it kind of does if you read it with your heart on your sleeve.

I wanted to reach out to you all not as the owner of SOCO Lashes, but as a human. I have been craving real connection with people like me, and a way to do that is through our weekly emails. I wanted to have an option that allowed us to get a little more personal than just receiving an email about our products or a discount code. I guess it’s sort of to remind you (and me) that we all need each other’s support to be happy. Something kept bringing me back to a phrase that felt so right: “Keep it small, keep it local.” Keep it small, keep it local. Keep it small, keep it local.

Keep it small: Focus on our loyal customers that fill our love cups. Sometimes I can forget that you are real women with real souls and that you aren’t just an order number. It’s very challenging to keep that at the forefront of my mind when the business is so busy, and the most important thing on my daily checklist is to get your order mailed out so that you can work and feed your family. For that, I apologize from the bottom of my heart.

Keep it local: Allow myself to be less of a recluse and start getting to know our local lash artist as the real humans they are. Focus on connecting with lash artists like I used to. Success isn’t all about finances, and the void that needs filling is interaction with my people. For that, I am deeply sorry if you haven’t felt seen or heard. You deserve more than that.

Balancing this business in unison with trying to be the best mother I can be, while also tending to my own emotional needs finally makes sense: Start simplifying SOCO and stop making everything so freaking complicated. Over the next year or so, I will slowly be bringing back the good old ‘mom and pop shop’ vibe, because that’s what I have always wanted for my business, for myself, and most importantly for all our customers. That is what I want our ‘secret sauce’ to be. In true fashion of this new balancing act and attempt at reconnecting with my people, I have decided to release a new email series that will allow you to be seen as a person. And yes, I mean YOU. The exact person reading this. 

In this new series, it won’t be all about why you should buy something from SOCO Lashes, although those who are subscribed will undoubtedly receive a discount code in each of our weekly emails. It’s there if you want it, but also easy to simply scroll past if you’re just here for the tea- or if you’ve forwarded this to a friend who isn’t a lash artist and has no idea the difference between an isolation tweezer and a megavolume tweezer. The intention behind this new series is to meet you wherever you are in life. I realize that some of this will be irrelevant to your life, especially if you aren’t a mother. Maybe one day you’ll find yourself with a daughter and remember something from these emails at a time in your life you find more relevant… or maybe you can take something and implement it towards your niece or best friend’s daughter. However you choose to use or not use my words is solely up to you.

I’m not going to be like many other boss babes or woman entrepreneurs and pretend to be more successful than I am, pretend that I created my life without the help of many others, or even pretend that I have the answers you are looking for. My intent is to share my experiences and stories in life and business, give you some insight on what worked for me or what didn’t, to show you that you’re not alone in all of your ugly truths, and to remind us of both: Don’t compare the middle of our story to someone else’s end. We are all a work in progress, and the more of us who shout that from the rooftop for other women to hear, the less isolated and embarrassed all of us will feel when we experience failure, especially the public kind. Life is tough. And it’s ugly. And it’s not fair that shitty people seem to always get things that we feel like we deserve. But life is lifey, and that’s that.

This email series is about one hundred stories that show you from someone else’s perspective that, 1. We are responsible for our happiness, 2. How our life turns out is nobody’s fault but our own, 3. We are in control of what we allow into our life, 4. How we respond to things is what will truly dictate the trajectory of our life, and 5. We are not alone in our failures, insecurities, or faults . Over the past 8 years I have kept a notebook of struggles in common that I have shared with so many of you, because they mean a lot to me. In these emails we talked about life, personal experiences, swapped ideas and advice, and shared how we were able to grow and move forward through some of the lowest parts of our lives. I kept track of them because I knew that I would do something with them one day, and I think that today might be that day.

My hope for this Email and Blog series is that you learn to live by that needle in the haystack statement: “Your life is up to you.” I hope that we both learn to discern the difference between taking accountability and taking the role of the victim, and move forward with our struggles in a positive, healthy way that gives us full access to the life we were meant to live. That life that we know we deserve. This series is about putting our mask on before we put anyone else’s on and building a one-of-a-kind relationship with ourselves in a way that makes us prefer our own company over anyone else’s. I hope that we will learn how to master our built-in bull shit detector to keep those away who just want to siphon our joy and success for their own personal gain. In whole, the intent of this series is to show you how to be authentically confident in yourself and your choices in life and learn how to accept that we will always be the villain in someone else’s story.

There is something that I learned when I was about thirteen years old – a time in my life when I desperately needed it - from a book called, “Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul.” It went something like this: You don’t like everyone you meet, and not everyone will like you when they meet you. And that’s okay. I’m paraphrasing, but at a very young age when I should have been relishing in that ‘poor me’ state of mind over the fact that Tiffany and Becca didn’t like me, that wasn’t me. Instead, I was honest with myself, and I realized that they didn’t like anyone… not even each other or themselves. Thank you , Darren, for that. That’s just how some people are, even as a fully developed adult woman. I’m using the phrase ‘fully developed woman” loosely here, but it’s what they chose to be and who’s fault is that? Nobody’s fault but their own, but I’ll bet you my right shoe that they have a list of people who they blame for how their lives turned out. It’s probably why most of us still have Facebook: We just want to see which bitch from high school finally gets fat. That’s my reason, anyways. And for your growing fascination with Tiffany and Becca: Tiffany had twins and got fat, and Becca ended up in legal trouble because she stabbed her boyfriend. Do with that information what you will, but I actually feel sorry for them because they probably didn’t have someone in their life guiding them in a way they understood how to follow. And yes, I have changed the names of the said women above to both avoid any legal repercussions just in case this ever turns into a book and to save some face for few people who made bad choices when they were younger. I mean, we all do, right?

I digress. These weekly blogs are for you to interpret and apply into your lives as you see fit (or not) and will be intertwined with personal stories and examples of many of my life struggles and how I got through them. Actually, no. Allow me to rephrase that in more of a comprehensive and concise way:  They’re about how I turned my hardships into something that helped me propel myself into a successful mindset instead of feeling sorry for myself. In the end, it’s up to us to choose what kind of life we want to live: A less than mediocre life, a mediocre life, or an outstanding life. Some days I choose outstanding if I can find the energy, and other days I choose less than mediocre because that’s all I have in me that day.

Even though the majority of people I meet won’t have the capacity to understand many of the choices I have made in my life, my life doesn’t have to make sense to anyone but me. The same goes for you. At the end of the day, you are going to be the one who deals with credit card statement balances, personal heartbreaks and tragedies, and everything messy. Isn’t it funny how those who love to offer an abundance of regularly dispatched unsolicited advice are the same people who are nowhere to be seen when you’re smack dab in the middle of a fucking pickle? That’s because most people love the sound of their own voices, and no one ever took the time to teach them that ‘their voice doesn’t belong in every conversation.’

You, my new friend, are going to learn how to inadvertently create a habit of trusting your own inner dialogue over other peoples’ irrelevant loud voices, how to stop second guessing yourself, and how to learn to make decisions based on what’s best for you without the hint of hesitation or regret lingering secretly behind every choice you make.

And because ‘all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’ I’m going to try to add a weekly ‘Current Obsession’ of mine to tend to your creative sides. One week may include a recipe for my sugar free, flour free, chocolate chip cookie pancakes that even my picky 10-year-old asks for. Another week might include information or tips about raising backyard chickens, my secret love affair David Austin (The roses, you silly goose! Get your head out of the gutter, you little gluten for gossip), or whatever is that is making me smile on that particular week that I hope might make you smile, too. I would like to include something that may give you a creative idea or spark curiosity about something that’s been sitting on your bucket list for way too many years... And maybe a gentle shove to grasp the courage to take action to do that one thing you’ve been putting off.

Last, but most definitely not least, I’ve been on a journey of finding myself over that past decade as I’m sure you have been as well. Although I’m still learning who I am every day, I have recently been attending an in-person weekly women’s bible study. Am I religious? I’m not sure yet, but I am sure that I’m trying to find the answer to that question. I know that so many of you already have a solidified relationship with God, and many of you who are curious about religion entirely. Maybe some of you have tried to pick up the bible but don’t know where to start, or maybe you’re like me and you want to understand something that people are willing to trade their souls for. I can’t say that I am a ‘God fearing woman’ or that I have accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior, but what I can say:  I agree and disagree with a lot of the words in the bible and that I want to experience it for myself so that I can make an educated decision based on my own perception, free of outside opinions or influences. I lost my father in February to cancer, and he was so passionate about his relationship with God towards the end of his life that it gave me pause. For myself, and many of you, words like ‘obey’ and ‘worship’ make us uncomfortable. It’s so definite and permanent and such a big-girl decision. These types of choices are ones that I want to trust my own judgement with, so feel free to tag along to the Women’s Bible Study portion of this email if you’re also curious about God or religion. I promise that I won’t be the least bit offended if it’s something you scroll right past. Scout’s honor. Our unique life journeys don’t have to mirror anyone else’s chosen paths. That’s what makes them special; they’re relatable, yet so different.

So, strap in, put your helmet on, and hop on the struggle bus that I seem to be riding with so many of you. We are starting our weekly email and blog series NOW… in leu of Halloween Season, the time of year that kick starts all of my favorite stuff like all things spooky, the scent of pumpkin spice in the air, sweata’ weatha’, creating healthier versions of my favorite cookie recipes, and presents under the tree…  We’ll dive headfirst into a struggle, something creative, dip our toes into religion if you so wish- whatever that means to you, and for those of you who are lash artists- we will be featuring a different product each week and including a discount code to use on your next purchase with SOCO Lashes.

Please share our weekly email with someone who might be interested in subscribing to and joining in our weekly digital get togethers, or someone who may be craving change or personal growth in their life. Anyone who might find solace in being a part of our weird girl tribe is welcome. You don’t need to be a lash artist to participate in our collaborative personal growth journey.

To all our newcomers: You can sit with us.

Cheers to being big girls, confronting the sides of ourselves that we often sweep under the rug and hide from the world, and for creating a community of woman who can connect with each other based on nothing but who we are and who we want to become. See you all this spooky season!

Don’t forget to follow us on Instagram here if you don’t already. We would love it if you would engage with me on any of our platforms! It lets me know where you’re watching or listening from, and it gives me the ‘oh so needed’ motivation to keep me going that I sometimes fall short of. Thanks for your support, guys. Let’s go easy on ourselves this week, because we all deserve a but of that from time to time.

Alright, gotta’ go do my own nails because I’m trying to get control of my spending habits. Love ya.’ Mean it.

Jena